this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
