Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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