She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
