I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
