i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
