can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
