so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize