Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
why is half of my head shaved?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
