i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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