people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
