No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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