ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
