Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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