i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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