we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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