I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize