You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize