Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
