fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
