I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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