i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Drunk is a universal language darling
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
