Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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