just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
BRING THE BAGELS
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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