I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize