therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
