u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
