take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i drank out of a bidet.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
