Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
how does that bad decision feel?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize