I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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