Welp...herpes.
my being single is dangerous.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize