so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
