you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
