Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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