Sry I called you an 8
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
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Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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