he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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