you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
