She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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