i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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