If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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