Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
