she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
