Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize