I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
