I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
