i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
