yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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