I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
