we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
