if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
