I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
