so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
