Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
