I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
