And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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