he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
