I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
