Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
