I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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