Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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