Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am available for nakedness
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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