Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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